I admit. I'm often guilty of sitting back and waiting on life to happen to me. It's my naturally laid-back attitude. Sure, I get worked up about things from time to time, but I'm generally over them before they're finished. I don't hold grudges. (Ok, I probably do hold grudges, but I generally eliminate those people from my life because... they're crushing my mellow? When I see those people, I'm still cordial. I just don't have enough room in my life for negatives.)
Anyway, the area of my life that I'm most guilty of this laissez-faire attitude is my career. I wasn't always that way. I had plans. I had dreams. I was going to rule the world. Then, somewhere along the way - probably in college with the college boyfriend, I settled. At 22, I thought that my undergrad was enough. I thought the part time job that morphed into a full time job was a career. I thought I'd get married (to the college boyfriend) and we'd have a house, some kids, a dog, and a perfect life.
Then life happened to me. The boyfriend and I broke up. The 'great job' lost it's appeal (probably because of the manager that screamed at me daily.) I met James. Fell in love. (Blah, Blah, Blah)
After much prodding, he talked me into finding a new job. I did. It started out great. I peaked on my learning curve and started asking for more. I had a supervisor who was a control-freak and let's just say it went down hill from there. Embarrassingly, it took 4 years and James sending out my resume for me to consider leaving. I was comfortable. I was resistant to change.
Then, I got this job. Today is my 4 year anniversary. I'm a year away from an extra week of vacation. I love my co-workers. My company takes great care of the employees. We've got smart people running the company who braced for the economic downturn and we had zero layoffs, furloughs, reduced hours.
But. Here I am again. On the other side of the learning curve. I've mastered my position. I'm very efficient at my position. I've spent the last 8 reviews (we have 4 per year) asking for more. Empty promises. Additional 'tasks,' but no additional challenges. You know?
This time is different though. I have taken initiative to better my situation. For once, I opened my mouth and communicated to the people that can make a difference - a change - that in fact, I need a change. Things are unfolding. I don't want to say much yet, because nothing is certain and I'm not sure who may wander across this blog.
I'm doing this differently. I'm actively pursuing a better life for myself and my family. I'm actively trying to make a positive change instead of wallowing in discontent. I'm making 2010 about creating the life I want. I'm believing in myself. I'm believing in change for the better. I'm digging deep to find the self-confidence that I know is in there - it's just been hiding for way too long.
Just keep your fingers crossed for me.