Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Creating The Life You Want

I admit.  I'm often guilty of sitting back and waiting on life to happen to me.  It's my naturally laid-back attitude.  Sure, I get worked up about things from time to time, but I'm generally over them before they're finished.  I don't hold grudges.  (Ok, I probably do hold grudges, but I generally eliminate those people from my life because... they're crushing my mellow?  When I see those people, I'm still cordial.  I just don't have enough room in my life for negatives.)

Anyway, the area of my life that I'm most guilty of this laissez-faire attitude is my career.  I wasn't always that way.  I had plans.  I had dreams.  I was going to rule the world.  Then, somewhere along the way - probably in college with the college boyfriend, I settled.  At 22, I thought that my undergrad was enough.  I thought the part time job that morphed into a full time job was a career.  I thought I'd get married (to the college boyfriend) and we'd have a house, some kids, a dog, and a perfect life. 

Then life happened to me.  The boyfriend and I broke up.  The 'great job' lost it's appeal (probably because of the manager that screamed at me daily.)  I met James.  Fell in love.  (Blah, Blah, Blah)

After much prodding, he talked me into finding a new job.  I did.  It started out great.  I peaked on my learning curve and started asking for more.  I had a supervisor who was a control-freak and let's just say it went down hill from there.  Embarrassingly, it took 4 years and James sending out my resume for me to consider leaving.  I was comfortable.  I was resistant to change.

Then, I got this job.  Today is my 4 year anniversary.  I'm a year away from an extra week of vacation.  I love my co-workers.  My company takes great care of the employees.  We've got smart people running the company who braced for the economic downturn and we had zero layoffs, furloughs, reduced hours. 

But.  Here I am again.  On the other side of the learning curve.  I've mastered my position.  I'm very efficient at my position.  I've spent the last 8 reviews (we have 4 per year) asking for more.  Empty promises.  Additional 'tasks,' but no additional challenges.  You know?

This time is different though.  I have taken initiative to better my situation.  For once, I opened my mouth and communicated to the people that can make a difference - a change - that in fact, I need a change.  Things are unfolding.  I don't want to say much yet, because nothing is certain and I'm not sure who may wander across this blog.

I'm doing this differently.  I'm actively pursuing a better life for myself and my family.  I'm actively trying to make a positive change instead of wallowing in discontent.  I'm making 2010 about creating the life I want.  I'm believing in myself.  I'm believing in change for the better.  I'm digging deep to find the self-confidence that I know is in there - it's just been hiding for way too long.

Just keep your fingers crossed for me.


  1. It's like you've written my thoughts. I wish I could share more myself, haha. Keep us posted :)