Good morning, afternoon, evening, whatever time of day it is when you read this - if you ever read this, which I doubt you will since, well, I don't know you. Scratch that, you don't know me. Realistically, you and I go way back. I think somewhere in the mid-1980s. I think somewhere during the time of Red Dawn, probably not really til a kid named Lucas really brought you to the forefront. Of course, even at 7 and 9 - Mr. Howell and Mr. Haim were much more on my radar. Sorry. You weren't really ever even in my top 5 Brat Packers. (I will give you that you were really hot in your 5 minutes of Ferris...) Not that you care.
I watched your TS interview. I wanted to share a few thoughts on that.
1. I've known a few people who suffer from BPD. I'm pretty sure my last HS boyfriend did. I can't ask him now, he's dead. Suicide. But, watching you on the TS, with your wide eyes made me think "manic." The other end of the spectrum is not sitting in a corner, blaming your mom. The other end of the spectrum is different for everyone.
2. "Use" is not a dumb AA term. It's a legitimate VERB for what you do with illegal substances. You can call it whatever, but seriously pot meet kettle.
3. You lack humility. It's a great characteristic to have. Humility doesn't make you boring - it makes you likable, even lovable. Bragging about your "epic" party - not humble, not cool. Thinking that you are a superior being, not humble either.
4. You don't have the blood of a tiger. You have the blood of Tiger Beat. You are part of a celebrity generation America has elevated Pantheonic levels. You are all on some sort of pedestal where we hold you to no moral standards. In your mind, the rules simply don't apply to you. It's not just you.
On the way to my "boring" job this morning, I contemplated how far back this pop culture phenomenon really goes back. I could get back to Elvis. Then, I got back to the Rat Pack. But, your generation forward feels exponentially worse than the stories we've heard about them. Perhaps it's the viral nature of social media and America's inability to disconnect. I really don't know.
5. That same Tiger Beat phenomenon has created a generation that is rapidly approaching middle age on the same self-destructive path of their youths. In my generation, River was the first casualty most of the 80's/90's generation remember. Then it was Cobain. Since we've watched the careers of Mel, Brit, and L-Lo implode -- these are insanely talented people who saw themselves as immortal and above the consequences.
Honestly, I don't watch your show on C.B.S. My husband and kids think it's funny, but it's just meh. I don't care one way or the other that it may or may not be gone forever. I hope you did blink and fix your brain - but if you didn't, I hope you find some peace, some calm, and someone to help you through. I hope you have people who really love you - not because you are "CS," but for you. The kind of people who celebrate your best moments and help dust you off at your worst. The kind of people who will never put conditions on their love for you.
I hope you find happiness in the now. I tend to believe that three+ spouses, drug benders, and your general extravagance is a symptom of being unhappy with who you are right now. It gives the vibe of never truly content. I hope you can conquer all the demons that have plagued you for over two decades. If not for you, then for the best interest of your children...